Thesis

Main Point: The main point of my essay is to convey the negative effects of concussions on NFL players.

Purpose: The purpose is to inform the reader about the negative effects concussions have on current and retired football players.

Audience: The main audience will be aspiring NFL players as well as parents and football coaches

Example Thesis: The sport of football is one of the most injury prone sports in all of sports. Concussions have been taking football players memories and even lives. With new research and technology, as well as rules, aspiring NFL players well become safer as the concussion rate can begin to slow down and ultimately be a thing of the past.

Concern: Audience in my thesis isn’t too good / clear.

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